Look at how flaccid my blogging attempts are. February? Really. As for why I don’t blog more: My full-time job involves writing for a newspaper, and after achingly long days bent over a PC in the LA Times bunker, I tend not to think about online diaries. But I recently started up another website to act as a bucket of information on some online videos I’ve been making with another writer and dear friend, Miss Georgia Hardstark. Hop over to www.alieandgeorgia.com and see what’s been cooking/shaking/provoking gagging over there. Warning: content may involve liquefied ham.

With affectionate caveats,

Ward

Why halloh, comrades.

As for Wardly updates, I have this to report:

1. Paintings-in-progress are humming along well, and I have a certain twinkle in the eye about an upcoming show. It’s been too long since I ruined some perfectly good apparel by sitting on a paint palette, so I’m lining up another exhibition for the next few months.

2. This has nothing to do with anything really, but I’ll use this blog as a confessional booth, of sorts: I just powered through a package of peanut M&Ms in less than six minutes while sitting at my desk and I offered not a one to any of my coworkers. They know where the vending machine is.

3. I have found the source of the rooster hooting in my neighborhood. For those who have followed my exasperated quest to locate my neighbor with the rooster and unceremoniously murder him (the neighbor, not the rooster), you may know that I have, on certain pre-dawn mornings, jutted my head out of every window to discern the direction of the 4 am squawking. Now that I have spied a chicken pen in the middle of my urban neighborhood, I fear that I lack the follow-through to actually commit a homicide. Perhaps a sharply worded letter. Sharply worded, but polite.

4. In other news, I’ve begun to do regular segments on LA news station KTLA. Generally, I talk of matters concerning my job as a Professional Leisurist. I’ll keep you posted on the next one, dears.

Issuing robust high fives,

Miss Alie Ward

Chief Curiologist

One more thing: Georgia and I crafted and consumed a culinary aberration called a McNuggetini, and the Huffington Post, ThisIsWhyYoureFat.com, DListed and some other folks on The Internets have apparently toasted the occasion. Clink.

Glamour.com’s got a blog called Smitten that’s about as much of a guilty mid-day work pleasure as the bowl of candy at the receptionist’s desk. Love it!

Today, among tidbits about shopping, boys and cute things we now want to buy, Curiology had the honor of gracing the page with a shout out to our customized heart tattoo tees. We’d like to give a high five to Joanna Goddard for the mention, and a fist-bump to everyone who left such lovely comments. Y’all made us blush.

Now, back to the office candy bowl…

Nom nom nom,

Miss Alie Ward

Chief Curiologist

There’s nothing that makes my day more* than getting photos from customers in their shirts. This little gem was sent from a happy customer holding her nephew. Seriously, way too adorable. I can’t handle it.

* I should also note that while customer photos make my day, so do ice blendeds and watching cats on YouTube. It’s okay to have varied interests, yes?

Muchos amore,

Miss Alie Ward

Chief Curiologist

Oh hi, peeps.

This may thrill or disappoint you, but I dont have too much to say. It’s a bit late, and I’ve had a full day of working, Curiologizing, catching up with a few girlfriends and a brisk walk in the hills. I’m feeling contentedly silent, like a monk who just ate Thanksgiving and is sacked out in a recliner.

Things should be heating up Curiology wise as the holidays march closer, but for now, the main sentiment I’d like to impart is that I love trees. I love trees and I love dirt and bugs and moonlight. I just got back from four days in Yosemite, and dammit if I didn’t leave with a renewed affection for nature.

In other news, a birthday just passed, and I’m trying to make improvements to the rusting machine that is my Wardbrain. Among them:

1. More reading

2. Using a stopwatch to curb procrastination

3. Enough with the chocolate, Ward. Really.

4. Early to bed, early to rise

On that note, I’m hitting the hay. If you have any sage edicts that have dawned on you after a birthday, feel free to school me with them in the comments section. Same with book recommendations. The contents of your brain are valuable, and I am greedy for them.

Contentedly yours,

Miss Alie Ward

Professional Rambler

From the Curiological compound:

I stayed in tonight, glued to the streaming media that would announce the 44th President of the United States of Obama.

I would be engaging in bi-partisan pandering if I didn’t come out and admit that I have a burning crush on the Barack. But regardless of your political position, or your susceptibility to develop a fawning, goofy smile whenever he commands a podium, let one thing be known: You should never be ashamed of your love. Whether you still harbor fluttery feelings toward Palin and her updo, or if Nader’s rodent-like muzzle makes you delirious with lust, feel free to strut your love proudly.

The firey election hubub will soon settle into embers, so perhaps it’s time to focus on those around us we love as well: our spouses, hamsters, hometowns. Get their name inked on a shirt, why don’t you? Or, as the holidays draw close, think about spending your dwindling gift budget on a unique, hand customized gift for a loved one, instead of a lameass last-minute motorized tie rack, or a $60 mail-order box of pears.

After all, Curiology is an American company which uses American made products and employs a handful of otherwise semi-broke American artist-types. Unlike Joe the Plumber, we don’t make over 250K a year, but we love what we do.

Congratulations, ‘Merica, on the corner we’re about to turn. I say we focus on the love.

Unabashedly sentimental,

Miss Alie Ward

Chief Curiologist

www.curiology.com

There’s nothing like a little webby back patting, and recently the Blog of Adorability known as Simple Finds discovered the ol’ Curiology Labs and took a liking to our customized heart tattoo shirts.

Prompting Wardly blushing in deep shades of red, the Simple Finds scribe called my work “inspiring” (oh hush!) and also noted that the customized tattoo tees are a great way to lay claim to a man so that no other ambitious trollups can fix their mitts on him.

Simple Finds, that’s a golden idea. In fact, I hereby propose that Curiology custom tattoo tees be purchased in anticipation of every first date. Why not set the bar high with a little romantic dibb-calling? Let’s look in the Curiological crystal ball:

Sheila: Oh hi! You must be Kevin!

Kevin: Hey! Sheila, right?

Sheila: (Giggles) Yes. I wore my polka dot shirt like I said so you could find me!

Kevin: I know, people never look like their profile pictures, right?

Sheila: Actually, speaking of shirts, Kevin, I had this made for you. So the whole world could know that you are mine.

Kevin: That’s highly territorial, but also pretty romantic, Sheila.

So as the holiday party season begins and Aunt Regina sets you up with her neighbor’s son, or you finally meet that stud you’ve been stalking eyeing on Facebook, just give Curiology a holler. That’s what we’re here for.

With warmest fuzzy regards,

Miss Alie Ward

Chief Curiologist

Halloh my lovely comrades!

Pardon the bloggerffic absence on my part, but I’ve been sporadically out of town, and have been enjoying three dimensional exploits more so than two dimensional screen-bound electronic ones. But my nose is firmly back to the grindstone with many new Curiological developments for fall. I’ll list them in bullet points, so as not to overwhelm you:

1. More new paintings

2. Prints of those paintings

3. More blogging

4. My neighbor has a rooster

I guess I padded things with that last one. As long as I have broached the topic of my neighbor’s rooster, please allow me some catharsis; let me tell you about my neighbor’s rooster. Oh my lord. For those of you who remember the Nancy Kerrigan footage of tire-iron knee-crackery, do your best to recall the “Why-why-why?” wails of larynx-shredding agony that erupted from the young figure skater when Tanya Harding’s thugs assaulted her with a bar of metal. That is how my soul feels every morning when my neighbor’s rooster attacks my ears, my dreams and my psyche with his malevolent cockadoodledooery.

What’s the rooster got going on so early in the morning? A conference call to China? Sleep in. Take a load off, buddy. You’re a chicken.

I don’t know why my neighbor suddenly owns this rooster. I would like him to not own a rooster.

This has been a recent development, and I hope to God that my neighbor is a viciously carnivorous man, hungry for coq au vin or chicken caccitore, and that my neighbor can no longer bear the constant salivations and stomach churning hunger that afflicts him every time he feeds this rooster. That, or I hope some nice lady who lives in the country–not my gang-addled ghetto– comes to adopt this loud, horrible bird and ends the daily dawn-squawking that robs me of rest.

In other news, all else at Curiology HQ is dandy. I’m happy, I love painting, and with the upcoming holidays, we’re expecting a big season for tattoo shirts. We’re all well stocked after the summer shortage, and are turning them around faster than ever.

Much adoration to each of you, and check in for more updates.

Also, if anyone knows of any lovely, spacious apartments in the Silverlake or Beachwood Canyon area of Los Angeles, do send word or leave me a comment.

With unbridled affection,

Miss Alie Ward

Chief Curiologist

curiology.com

Note: the above painting, “Wishbone vs.” is 7 inches square and available. Shoot me a note if you’d like to add it to your collection.

Halloh my esteemed comrades!

I was at the gallery until 5 am hanging up the new work, and in my delerium failed to photograph pieces for the blog. But here’s a temporary shot to tide The Curious over– it’s kind of like footage of the Yeti: blurry, dubious, but hopefully enough to incite intrigue.

“Anywhere.”, acrylic on wood

The show at Box Eight is finally tonight, and I’m just a flutter with nerves and excitement. Mostly excitement. I’ve been working on some of these pieces for months and I’m so very happy to have them seen.

The show tonight features three bands, several artists and a bit of an “eventy” vibe. There is a cover, but come on down and kick it with Ward in a jumpsuit.

I must say, one of the best moments of the process was sitting on the floor in a huge gallery space last night, putting some finishing touches on a piece while other artists hung their work and rushed around anxiously. It was close to 2 am, and the radio was blaring KCRW when a song by one of tonight’s music acts, Chester French was announced, along with our art show. A collective “w00000t!” rang out, and the excitement for tonight was quite palpable.

Thanks for reading and please continue to rock on.

Warmest regards,

Miss Alie Ward

PS- Um, a marching band just passed by my window on York Blvd. Are marching bands good omens?

Someone once said something brilliant about making an omelet, and eggs. Something about cracking them. Whatever.

Were that same master of metaphors to have tripped upon an art studio just before a show, he would have adjusted his monocle and thusly proclaimed “To make an art show, you have to crack open a few tubes of paint, scatter them all over the floor, keep a murky bucket of sloppy paintwater in the middle of the room, trip over it, and embrace that your studio will look like a meth den just before the camera guy from COPS busts in.” Also, your hair will look awful, he would have added.

Things are moving along at an even clip. I’m so excited to bring these pieces out of the crack den and into the world; I’m also excited to fall asleep in a bed, instead of with my face on a painting.

Hope to see you on the 16th, my comrades. Also, high quality prints of the piece “Then vs. Now” have just become available as of today. Yay.

Also, if you happen to be waiting on a back order of a tattoo shirt (particularly in a men’s size) please accept my most red-faced and sincere apologies that it’s taken so long to get them out the door. Post Saturday, they are first in line in the Curiological queue. They are each hand-inked in a precise, loving, time consuming fashion, and I’ll be sending out a batch after the show.

Much affection and many high fives,

Chief Curiologist